Ethan Crane
Ethan Crane

Alter Ego

Ethan Michael Crane



Base of Operations

Vampire Twilight Carnival (former)

Mike P's Resort (former)

Some island



Team Affiliations

Anti-Thrifty Scout Defense Alliance


No information

Notable Aliases

No information


Ability to turn into a bat, wolf, or mist.

Regeneration from certain injuries

Strength of ten men

Enhanced Bangles sense

Keen vampire senses


No information


Thrifty Scouts

Many others, to be sure.

Ethan Crane is a vampire who just loves himself some television. He currently appears in Time-Mind Sync-Warp.


Ethan Crane's history is shrouded in mystery, and his word is basically worthless in this regard. He claims to be very old, and to have encountered Free Comic Book Day Man during the Civil War. He also makes the claim that he knew Oscar Wilde, and that Wilde wrote a book about him. While many of his claims remain unverified, what is known is that he was involved with the Vampire Twilight Carnival in some capacity and that, after burying himself, somehow wound up on Megia under Mike P's Resort. Also known is that he started a very antagonistic relationship with the Thrifty Scouts.

The Rise of EthanEdit

Mike P encountered Ethan Crane for the first time shortly after the destruction of the A-Hole, and Ethan was immediately belligerent about being woken up in such a manner and having to claw his way through floorboards. This was alleviated by Mike P's offer of a job in exchange for fixing the floor. Ethan never fixed the floor, and his next act was mocking Mike P for his Edward Scissorhands costume, immediately followed by sitting on a couch and watching television. This left him in a position to be the first to greet Purple Lamp when he arrived, and by greet we mean fight and by fight we mean beat down, spurred on by the destruction of his cane. This happened when Ethan Crane smashes Purple Lamp's lamp of power and twisted his psyche even further. Ethan Crane celebrated his victory by sitting on the couch and watching television and telling Talia Andreos to bugger off when she came to the resort. He did prove useful when he told Mike P to have a meeting and draw up an agenda, which Mike P misconstrued as actually drawing the people who were supposed to be at the meeting. This led to Mike P asking Ethan to keep Talia away from the meeting, in exchange for permanent room and board and television. Ethan accomplished this task by delegating it to Jerald. Ethan then attended the meeting, where he mocked Mike P into leaving and was later stabbed by one of Jerald's blades. He got better.

Later, Ethan Crane was present for the fallout of Squibbons Johnson challenging Mike P to a soccer match. Ethan also learned about the age-old rivalry of Abroconians and squids, which he could really care less about. He could also care less about the return of Pikapunk, and was happy when he was left alone to watch his programs. Later, he finally sprung into action when he learned that, should Mike P lose the soccer match, then the resort would likely be lost as well. Thus it was that Ethan led a search party into Squibbons's room where he found Mike Q hiding in a closet. He then took charge of Glob the Blob's intervention, which involved putting the creature into a blender. He also drained the first Bangles of his blood and drank the blood-bag like a Capri Sun. However, he earned some points by dealing with Squibbons, which meant cutting off his tentacles and cooking them. He saved the head.

Ethan was later caught reading "Cat Fancy", a fact that Mike P would have not let him forget were it not for the fact that Ethan had hollowed out a cavern beneath the resort to house his Anti-Thrifty Scout trophies, and therefore it was never mentioned again. Following this, Ethan retreated to Moleside to avoid Purple Lamp's laments, for a short time living with Jerald. He returned to the resort after Purple Lamp took a trip to the pet shop, and Ethan delighted in using Mike P's cat to torment Mike P. Ethan later ran into this cat again after it had transmogrified into Charlotte, giving her an impromptu English lesson and going about his way. He then caught whiff of the new Bangles, and was instrumental in the creature's defeat.

Ethan was present for the Battle for the World that Came, but doesn't remember it.

March Meekrat Madness 2009Edit

Ethan participated in this as a champion of Deity Guy, initially besting the nefarious Bad Higgins in a riddle contest and going on to beat the Forgiver in an eighties cartoon trivia contest. He handily defeated Purple Lamp in an exaggeration duel, but lost to Mike P in a quiet contest, though this was due to his desire to keep his television. However, he reluctantly joined in the final battle against the Red Scare.

Time-Mind Sync-WarpEdit

After the destruction of Megia, Ethan Crane and several others found their way to a not-so-deserted island on Earth, where he would use Purple Lamp's restored powers to watch telenovellas while waiting for Mike P. He was later captured by the Assembly of Antagonists, but put into a fairly nice room where he was given a real television to watch. He was freed from this room later, and his keen vampire senses picked up that a being masquerading as Charlotte was actually Dox the Elf. He then proceeded to just stand there in a daze.

March Meekrat Madness 2010Edit

Ethan Crane is once again participating as a champion of Deity Guy. He started off by defeating Metallic Spheroid, Plasticine Cube, and Papery Pyramid in a Junior Jumble, and proceeded to best Edwin Cloudstar in an immortal duel. In the third round, he defeated Lord Tentacula in a deadly laser tag match against the Thrifty Scouts. In the fourth round, he lost to Mike P in a rock-paper-scissors challenge. Ethan also invaded Lord Tentacula's event (along with Mike P) to fight the newly-arrived Thrifty Scouts and form the Anti-Thrifty Scout Defense Alliance (ATSDA).


Ethan has typical vampire powers and weaknesses, as well as a sixth sense which allows him to know when a new Bangles is near.

Friends and AlliesEdit

It is unknown if Ethan Crane thinks anyone is actually his friend, but many people certainly consider him to be a friend. This is due to apathy on Ethan's part. He does consider Mike P and Lord Tentacula his allies, at least when the Thrifty Scouts are near.


In addition to the Thrifty Scouts and Assembly of Antagonists, Ethan Crane likely has many enemies.

Weapons and ParaphernaliaEdit

Ethan is hardly ever seen without his cane. In the time between it being broken by Purple Lamp and the inaugural battle of the ATSDA, it was replaced by a cane with a blade inside. Or, perhaps, Ethan just has two or more canes.